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Team USA at the start of Big's 2025 |
I’ve taken an extended amount of time to let all of the excitement from running and being the last one standing at Big’s to settle before even beginning to write this race report. It is currently mid May 2025, nearly 7 months after the race ended, as I begin to write. Why did it take so long? For all the reasons you’d probably expect; life is busy and I prioritize my time like everyone. When it comes to the order of importance between family life, household chores, work responsibilities, training for other races, sleep, and writing a race report, there are few exceptions when I would be willing to sacrifice time needed for anything else on that list to work on a race report. There’s a reason why it was the last item on the list. Even though I considered my performance at Big’s to be my best race, I still couldn’t alter my priorities. Additionally, my experience running Big’s was tough for me to comprehend completely. It was a race experience that morphed and confused me while I lived it. Which is an idea I’ll go into later in this report but the main shift in the race experience, or at least my perception of it, was due to the strange dynamic of the Backyard Satellite Team World Championships.
The 2024 edition of Big’s Backyard was a Backyard Satellite Team World Championships year, so slightly different than the Individual World Championship competition. The Backyard Satellite Team World Championships are held biannually alternating between an individual competition (on odd years) held on the original backyard course in Bell Buckle, TN and national team competitions (on even years) run remotely as a satellite competition at the home course of each team. The standard backyard rules apply for both types of competition, but there are some intricate differences between the two types of competitions. The primary differences being the team factor on even years and the satellite locations of the backyard courses.
The last two years (2023 and 2022 race reports) I had huge expectations to have my best performance ever and shatter my backyard PRs. Both years were a disappointment for me and I went home feeling unfulfilled and unhappy with my performances. I knew this year would be different. I had a different set of goals altogether in mind going into this race. The top goal was for Team USA to get the team win in the world competition. As a part of that top goal, I wanted to make a significant and valuable contribution to our team’s overall score. Beyond that, I wanted to run a race that I was proud of and happy with regardless of challenges faced and conditions presented during it.
Beyond a different set of goals going into this year’s race, I also had a different mindset. I had lower expectations having experienced more hardships in the backyard race format. I’m mainly referring to my performances at Bob’s Big Timber Backyard and Capital Backyard in 2024. Both of which did not go as I had hoped and ended during the second night. Maybe those races just made my backyard race expectations a bit more realistic by showing me how susceptible I am to my race ending unexpectedly before I want it to. Whatever the cause, I felt a bit less pressure to crank out a huge performance at Big’s 2024 than I had in past years. With that being said, I was still extremely motivated to have a big performance since I felt like I had not run a great backyard yet that year.
It’s hard to summarize four days of running, especially something like seven months after and considering the fact many of the memories were formed while substantially sleep deprived and physically exhausted. Much of the experience just seems like a memory of a dream at this point. Even so, some aspects of the experience still stand out and I remember clearly.
My crew and my interactions with them were one of those aspects. I was blessed to have two crew members supporting me at Big’s: Jaron Holmes and Derek Tinnin. I was struggling to find crew leading up to the race and thankfully Harvey Lewis hooked me up with Derek who agreed to crew me as long as I was in the race. I was lucky to get Jaron as crew a little later after the runner he had already committed to crewing withdrew from the race. Jaron had crewed me at Capital Backyard in 2022 and I knew he was as solid of a crew as you can find and that we worked really well together. Having a two person crew is a huge plus, something I had never had at Big’s (previously I had always had a one person crew). Crewing is tough, physically and mentally draining. Having a two person crew allows your crew to tag in and out allowing them to rest and catch up on sleep lost due to crewing their runner.
Derek and Jaron did everything right and all I had to do was run. They kept me well fed, hydrated, and mostly happy. They always had a variety of food and drinks for me to choose from and any time I requested anything specific, they made it happen. At one point, Jaron even managed to get a hold of some steak which he grilled and served to me which was a major highlight of the race for me. I remember being so surprised and impressed at him actually having a grilled steak for me and how amazing it tasted at the time. Earlier in the race, he made a Domino’s pizza run and brought back a ridiculous number of pizzas for many of the runners and their crews. It’s probably not recommended from a food safety perspective, but that Domino’s pizza still tasted good a day or two after as I have a clear recollection of eating a couple pieces as I headed out into the night loops on the fourth night. Thankfully, I never experienced any ill effects from eating the unrefrigerated pizza (kudos to Domino’s!) that had been sitting in a pizza box in our aid tent.
The rest of the crew work was on point too. Jaron came armed with some banger Dad jokes to keep my spirits up.
- Did you know that in Hawaii it's illegal to laugh loudly? You need to keep it to a low ha.
- How does Lady Gaga like her steak? Raw, raw, raw.
Another aspect of the race that stood out for me are all of the road miles I shared with Team USA under the night skies. Big’s utilizes a looped trail day course and a road out and back night course. Runners must complete 11 day loops (7 am - 5 pm) before switching to the night road course beginning at 6 pm for 13 night laps. Most of those 13 road course yards are in the dark with the sun setting during the first hour and the sunrise during the last. The road course is much wider than the trail course, most of which is single track. This allows runners to run side by side on the road rather than being limited to single file formation as we were on the trail. This tends to lend itself more to group running and usually more conversation (when you aren’t too sleep deprived to actually carry on a conversation).
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Team USA in the starting corral. |
It was great getting to chat with teammates from the 2022 team and having the opportunity to get to know new teammates. This year I ran with Harvey Lewis a good deal during night yards. Although I had run with Harvey at Big’s in 2022 and 2023, I hadn’t spent much time with him on the road when there’s a bit more opportunity to chat. In 2022 I suffered from a severe case of imposter syndrome and didn’t chat much with anyone. In 2023 with it being an individual competition year, the course was just extremely crowded with 75 runners. During the second and third nights, Harvey seemed to be struggling a bit and was encouraging the rest of us to join him and run as a group implementing a run/walk strategy. I joined the group for probably the majority of those two nights with just a few exceptions when I tried to pick up my pace a bit for more nap time. Running as a group and as a team was a powerful strategy. It helped keep me focused on my major goals for the race: for Team USA to get the team win and for me to make a significant and valuable contribution to the team effort. While running as a group during those overnight miles, it didn’t feel like I was running a backyard. I didn’t feel like I was competing with anyone in the group I was running with. I just felt like we were all running for a common purpose, to accumulate points for Team USA.
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The morning of day two, Team USA looking strong! |
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Qualification list of 2024 Team USA Backyard Satellite Team World Championships |
Struggling to wrap my head around the shift of team and individual dynamics of the race format, I remember telling my crew at some point during the fourth day that “this is a team effort.” At one point that afternoon I took my one and only fall of the race on the trail. I caught my toe on a rock or root and just could not recover to stay on my feet. I ended up doing a bit of a superman dive and face down in the dirt. I did a quick assessment of myself before I got up. It seemed like it wasn’t bad and as far as I could tell I was uninjured. As I got up and brushed the dust off, I realized how much worse it could have been. Probably less than a foot from where my head had ended up on the ground was a pretty large, jagged stone. I thought to myself how lucky I was that I hadn’t face planted into that rock. As I ran the rest of that yard, I couldn’t stop thinking how close I had come to ending my race with that fall. That’s the point that the thought of the race ending creeped into my head. Once there, it sounded like a good thing. I found myself questioning if I wanted to keep going. It’s dark, but I actually thought to myself about how if I had hit my face on that rock it would have been the end of my race and my ticket home. I knew I had to make a mindshift when those thoughts showed up. Ultimately, it was shifting my motivation to my individual performance that drove me on following that episode. In my mind at the time, team placements had already been decided and my drive to keep going was to push myself as far as possible.
With only two day course yards left, Piotr failed to return on time for yard 81. This shocked me as it had happened so unexpectedly. Piotr showed no signs of struggling to complete yards. I was with him just maybe a mile from the start/finish with plenty of time to make it in when he started to walk and said he needed to make a pit stop. When the bell rang for yard 82 and Piotr had not emerged from the woods I was in total disbelief as Meg and I headed out for another yard as the final two athletes remaining for Team USA. I had just been running with Piotr a few minutes earlier and now his race was over. This reinforced my thought even more that the team aspect of the race had been decided and now it would have to be my individual performance that would have to be my driving force.
During the first road yard of that fourth night, Rudy, the cameraman on site at the Big’s competition location, did what he had done the previous three nights, he rode his bike alongside runners getting some footage to share with the world via the YouTube livestream. The main difference this time was that there were only two runners left to tag along and chat with. Rudy would engage with us a bit and ask a few questions while riding near us. After three nights of it, I felt pretty comfortable with it and enjoyed the chats with Rudy. But by the fourth night, I think sleep deprivation had started to take its toll on my brain function and conversing was a little tougher and felt like it took more concentration than the previous nights. As I talked to Rudy I felt like I was failing to provide any decent content for the livestream as the main thing I remember saying during the chat was just that “I have to keep moving.” It wasn’t meant to be self motivational talk, but just felt like a statement of fact. My only purpose at that point was to move forward and complete yards on time.
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The sun was setting on day four. |
As my mind was playing tricks on me and keeping me entertained with visions, Meg’s body was causing her some struggles. I wasn’t aware until I was on my way back from the turnaround of yard 85. The Big’s road course is a single out and back with a couple turns. It’s about a half mile between the final turn and the turnaround. When I made that turnaround I didn’t see a headlamp anywhere in the half mile stretch of road. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help but think that Meg may have turned back. As I ran back it started seeming more and more likely with every step I took without seeing a headlamp round the corner. Eventually, Meg did round the corner, but it seemed like she would be cutting it very close to the cut off. As we approached each other, she stopped to tell me that she was having issues and didn’t think she would make it back. I kept the conversation as short as possible and told her that she had time and could still make it. I believe I said not to waste time talking to me and just keep moving. And that’s what she did.
This led to the most stressful part of the race for me. The whole time coming back after that conversation all I could think about is whether this was my last yard or is she going to recover and we will run through the rest of the night? When I got back into camp it only got worse. Everyone in the timing tent was talking about how she wasn’t going to make it. I assume they were basing this prediction on her recorded time at the turnaround (halfway) point of the road course. I overheard this talk and stopped to ask a few questions as I headed back to the start/finish to complete my yard. I tried to tell them that she was still moving well and not that far behind me. I was trying as much to convince myself that this race wasn’t over as much, probably more so, than I was trying to persuade any of them. I completed my yard and went and sat in my chair and waited. It felt like the longest interloopal period of the race. Some race volunteers were saying that she was done and there was no way she would make it back and others standing at the road shouting encouragement into the dark. I tried not to think about it and just focus on doing what I had to do to keep going but that was a losing battle given the excitement and commotion going on at camp during those few minutes. Eventually her light became visible from camp and there was a huge cheer from the onlookers. Meg hammered it in and completed yard 85 with only about a minute to spare.
At that point I knew I was going back out. I thought maybe she was spent. Maybe just one more. But that’s what the backyard always requires: just one more. Meg completed yards 86 and 87 closer to the pace she had been running before the close call. As we started yard 88 at 10 PM, I believed we were going at least until sunrise. When I hit the halfway point and started back from that yard, I was shocked again not to see a headlamp. I was not about to put myself through the mental stress again of wondering if it was over or not. Even though I didn’t see Meg’s headlamp, I just kept telling myself I would have to go back out. I came up with several scenarios as I ran back to explain why I didn’t see her headlamp. I told myself that she may have just turned her headlamp off and I didn’t notice her when we ran by each other, certainly possible in my sleep deprived state. I also thought that maybe she turned her headlamp off to make a pit stop along the road and I passed by without ever seeing her, still a pretty feasible scenario. My last explanation was less likely, but I wouldn’t totally rule it out. That scenario was that for whatever reason, Laz had decided to change the road course to an out and back in the opposite direction and I wasn’t aware. I thought maybe Meg would already be back at camp having completed the “new” road course. That was completely just fabricated in my head and not reality.
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Photo credit to Alyssa Justice Photo